I am puke
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
