yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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