Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
