Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
