Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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