My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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