she pinky promised me she was 18
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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