you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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