She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
