So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
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getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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