there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i think i just lost a toe
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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