They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
