Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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