hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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