I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
