SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
