I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
