I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
