I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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