I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
