Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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