I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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