Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
