white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I am morally bankrupt
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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