Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
ok first of all what the fuck
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
