Whod you bang
im holly from the hills drunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize