We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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