he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
