So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
