i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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