Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
