I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He? As in you personified your dick?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
