Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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