How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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