and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
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He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
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Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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