I'll bet she douches with gravy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
