Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
