Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
