Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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