Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
