Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She is in my trunk
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
