Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I still have a little drunk in my system
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
