I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
