dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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