this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
