The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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