so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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