i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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