she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
