Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were trust falling into bushes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
