I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize