just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
