Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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