no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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