just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
