Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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