I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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