he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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