yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
