If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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