so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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