Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
