Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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